Are You Tired of Trying to be Perfect?
Are you tired of trying to be perfect? I know I am. We are human and as spiritual guru and all-around amazing woman, Iyanla Vanzant says, we are just “messy’ and sometimes “crazy as hell.” No one is perfect. In fact, I set a dish towel on fire the other day while cooking. Fortunately, I saw it before the whole kitchen went up in flames.
But the best part was my husband, sous chef extraordinaire, helped me put it out and never uttered a word of criticism. We have a marital agreement not to flip out about small things. Why? Because no one is perfect AND we are committed to supporting and loving instead of nagging and condemning. We just choose to laugh about the little and sometimes not exactly little calamities of life.
I laughed at myself when I did a video with my book held upside down and backwards, and then just started over and did the video again. (OK, I might have said a few colorful words first).
A few years ago, I backed my car out of the garage before the door was fully open damaging the door. My husband was at home and heard the crash. Again, no recriminations, just concern for my well-being.
I’m sharing this to remind you that life is not always going to unfold according to our best laid plans. If you don’t have the love relationship you desire please don’t spend time on regrets and harsh judgments of yourself and your choices. We’ve all made plenty of decisions that did not work out for us. No matter what’s going on for you, you’re not alone.
Instead of striving for perfection before moving forward try this instead:
Decide to focus on the lesson you learned.
For me: Don’t put dish towels beside an open flame. Don’t back out of the garage in a big hurry before checking the status of the garage door. For disappointed daters: Don’t rush into an intimate relationship without understanding what you want, having healthy boundaries, or taking time to get to know him.
Forgive yourself for whatever you did or didn’t do.
No one has perfect parents. Yes, they taught us some dysfunctional ways of being. They probably learned some less than great things from their folks too. All we can do is try to do better than we did yesterday or in our past relationships. None of this matters unless we hold onto it for dear life. Let go of what no longer serves you.
If you want to know more about how to set healthy boundaries or how to move forward toward an authentic love connection order my book:
Until next time remember: You are a priceless gem in the Universe, imperfections and all.
Your biggest fan,
Denver Love Coach
Gayla Wick, Denver Love Coach and author of The Art of Attracting Authentic Love (A Transformational Four-Step Process) shows women how to go from frustrated and disappointed to attracting an authentic love match with confidence and clarity.
Connect and get her free Ten Secrets to Navigating Online Dating (and staying safe). Subscribe today at GaylaWick.com.