5 ways to Sabotage a Date (VIDEO)
Summer is finally here in beautiful sunny Colorado. I’m loving it and hope you are too. So many times I’m asked about how to go about dating. Look, I know it’s not the easiest thing to do, but it doesn’t have to be horrifying either.
Let me tell you the number one way to calm yourself: Know you are just going to be yourself. Now I mean your best self not anything less. You don’t want to experience all of his less than pleasant traits right away do you? So just like you expect him to put his best foot forward on your first dates then you will as well.
Being authentic doesn’t mean you need to put all of your flaws on display right away. Getting to know someone over time is a truly special experience so take your time and enjoy. Think of it like slowly opening a secret treasure.
Yes, I shared this post a month ago, but wanted to make a special very short video for you my visual readers. It’s just a fun way to get the basic points. Hope you take just one minute and twenty-one seconds to relax into the pictures and the music. Enjoy!!!
5 ways to sabotage a date:
Set too many expectations: Don’t treat your new date like you are doing them a favor by going out with them. This is a mutual agreement to spend a short period of time together to see if there is any possibility of another date. That’s it. Take your time and for goodness sake don’t set yourself up to spend too many hours together. Keep it short until you get to know each other a little better.
Think your looks matter way too much: Look, we know you are a catch. At least I hope you think you have a lot to offer any potential romantic partner, but remember your looks will not matter if you don’t have the personality and intelligence to match. Take care of your appearance and bring your smart, funny authentic self to the party, if you want a second date.
Tell him all about your crappy past relationships: Getting to know someone isn’t a license to tell them everything about your love life. Slow down and take your time without over sharing. He doesn’t need to know about all of your failed relationships right now. Once you are in a dating relationship you can share what you want to about your personal life when the time feels right.
Dig right into your list of “must haves:” First dates should not be conducted like an extensive job interview. Stop with the 47 questions already. He hasn’t even asked you out for a second date so why assume he’s ready to hear about your “must have” list.
I teach my Love Coaching clients how to make a real list of important values for an intimate relationship to flourish and when to share. Dating is a process that takes time. Have fun and be yourself – that’s what he wants to experience.
Fail to relax and enjoy: Both parties on a first date can be understandably anxious. After all, you want to make a great first impression. The best way to do that is to breathe and relax as much as you can. He wants to get to know you too. Maybe there will be a connection and a second date or maybe not. Either way YOU WILL BE FINE. Better to know sooner rather than later.
Until next time remember: “If you can’t relax a little and enjoy the date, neither will he.”
Your biggest fan,