5 ways to RUIN a First Date (VIDEO)
I’m frequently asked about how to go about dating without stressing out too much or saying the wrong thing. I know first dates are not the easiest, but the process doesn’t have to be horrifying either.
I’ll tell you the number one way to calm yourself: Know you are just going to be yourself. Now I mean your best self not anything less. You don’t want to experience all of his less than pleasant traits right away do you? So just like you expect him to put his best foot forward on your first dates, then you will as well.
Being authentic doesn’t mean you need to put all of your flaws on display right away. Getting to know someone over time is a truly special experience so take your time and enjoy. Think of it like slowly opening a secret treasure.
Here’s a very short video (1 minute and 21 seconds) for the short story. Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more.
5 ways to RUIN a First Date:
Set too many expectations: Don’t treat your new date like you are doing them a favor by going out with them. Dating is a mutual agreement to spend a short period of time together to see if there is any possibility of another date. That’s it. Take your time and for goodness sake don’t set yourself up to spend too many hours together. Keep it short until you get to know each other a little better.
Think your looks matter way too much: Look, we know you are a catch. At least I hope you think you have a lot to offer any potential romantic partner, but remember your looks will not matter if you don’t have the personality and intelligence to match. Take care of your appearance and bring your smart, funny authentic self to the party, if you want a second date.
Tell him all about your crappy past relationships: Getting to know someone isn’t a license to tell them everything about your love life. Slow down and take your time without over sharing. He doesn’t need to know about all of your failed relationships right now. Once you are in a dating relationship you can share what you want to about your personal life when the time feels right.
Dig right into your list of “must haves:” First dates should not feel like an extensive job interview. Stop with the 47 questions already. He hasn’t even asked you out for a second date so why assume he’s ready to hear about your “must have” list.
I teach my Love Coaching clients how to make a real list of important values for an intimate relationship to flourish and when to share. Dating is a process that takes time. Have fun and be yourself – that’s what he wants to experience.
Fail to relax and enjoy: Both parties on a first date can be understandably anxious. After all, you want to make a great first impression. The best way to do that is to breathe and relax as much as you can. He wants to get to know you too. Maybe there will be a connection and a second date or maybe not. Either way YOU WILL BE FINE. Better to know sooner rather than later.
Until next time remember: “If you can’t relax a little and enjoy the date, neither will he.”
If you’d like to know more about what you can do to find love contact me and we’ll schedule a call to discover just where you might be stuck. Let’s call it a “Get Unstuck” session. In 30 minutes, you’ll:
Know what’s keeping you stuck without the love you want
Have a strategy for getting unstuck and
Leave the call with 3 ways to change your dating life right away.
This can be your time for love, for the relationship that you know you want to enrich your life every day. True love is not a Unicorn. It REALLY does exist for those who want it and are willing to find out how to get it.
Your biggest fan,