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How Would You Rate Your Love Relationship?
Author: Gayla Wick


Once again I cannot resist watching the television series, Married at First Sight . I know, it sounds like the most absurd idea ever. I’m bring it up today because I want to share with you a question one of the experts asked the 3 men who did actually get married at first sight. I’m not going to preview each couple or go into any details about this season, but I thought this question asked by Pastor Cal, one of the experts might be useful for you whether you are single or married. Initially, I did not have a good reaction to this question, but after understanding the context I thought it was worthwhile.

These 3 couples had only been married for 3 weeks, when Pastor Cal asked the men to rate the state of their relationship on a scale of 1 to 10. Anyone who watches reality TV knows editors really like to take clips out of context to create drama. As the Pastor explained, he was asking the men to take a minute to evaluate where their relationship was after just 3 weeks of marriage in order to understand what progress they needed to be committed to in order for their young marriages to survive.

One said, 10, one said 7.5 and one said 8. Interesting choices and all explained exactly why they choose their ratings. Clearly 2 of these marriages still need work which I think we all would agree is understandable after such a short time. One couple seems to be particularly well matched with high levels of substantial compatibility. He said, he married a ten and in a short time their partnership quickly evolved to a ten. Each person in this couple has displayed maturity and a commitment to loving and supporting each other through action.

It may be worthwhile for all of us to rate the state of our relationship from time to time. To help you proceed I’m listing the four areas of intimacy for you to consider, should you choose to evaluate the state of your relationship. If you are n’t in a relationship, I encourage you to do this exercise by thinking about a previous relationship that did not work out well. This might help you more clearly understand what happened on another level.

How is your relationship functioning in each of these 4 areas?

1) Physically: Are you happy and fulfilled with the level of affection and sexual activity in your relationship?

2) Intellectually: Are you happy and fulfilled with your intellectual connection to your partner? Are you able to discuss a variety of topics in a mutually respectful way and learn from each other?

3) Spiritually: Do you share common values and standards with your partner? Are you able to fully discuss your beliefs and do you feel heard, even when you don’t agree?

4) Emotionally: Are you happy and satisfied with your emotional connection with your partner? Do you each truly care about each other’s feelings, hopes and desires and work to support each other during good times and challenging times? This is the most important connection of all because in my experience when a couple looses their emotional connection the other 3 areas of intimacy quickly begin to falter.

I hope this was helpful.

Much Love,


Denver Love Coach

P.S. I love to hear from you. Please let me know what you’d like to hear more about, okay?

Gayla Wick, The Denver Love Coach and author of The Art of Attracting Authentic Love (A Transformational Four-Step Process) gives women the tools to move from frustrated and disappointed to dating with confidence and clarity. Connect with her and get her free Top Ten Reasons Women are Still Single at










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