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Oct
01

Married at First Sight Conclusion: Doug and Jamie
Author: Gayla Wick
Married at First Sight Conclusion: Doug and Jamie

Couple number three, Doug and Jamie had a rocky start.  She cried at the wedding thinking she’d made the worst decision of her life to participate in this social experiment.  Doug however was delighted at the sight of his gorgeous bride. Thankfully he was a patient man, just what Jamie needed.  Their first 34 days were anything but normal, but of course this television show is well outside the boundaries of normal American dating habits.  No arranged marriages here for most of us.  The very idea seems antiquated at best. Yet Doug and Jamie moved into a new apartment together and started their relationship by first getting to know each other intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Physical intimacy would have to wait.  Read on to find out what we can learn from them and if they decided to stay married or divorce.

Love at first sight is over-rated: Doug was very happy at the sight of Jamie.  She was stunning in her beautiful dress – visually, all he could ever want.  The problem for Jamie was no attraction at first sight. What happened?  Jamie had been a contestant on the Bachelor and Bachelor Pad television series.  There she was surrounded by classically handsome men.  Although these men did not work out for Jamie she probably had a picture of this type of man in Gayla Wick|Denver Love Coach|Author|Speakerher head. Doug, a cutie did not match her mental image of her ideal man.  One of the experts had an interesting revelation about this mismatch of expectations versus reality. Their assessment: Since Jamie had no role models for healthy love relationships; she would be more likely to develop fantasy images of her romantic life - interesting thought. Advice from the Denver Love Coach: Ideal love relationships don’t always begin with initial physical attraction, so maybe it’s best to give him a chance before crossing him off your list at first sight. 

Lying is out, but we’re all human: Please do not construe anything I say here to mean that lying to your love mate is anything but unacceptable and in most cases will qualify as a deal breaker. So Doug’s lie that he didn’t smoke a cigarette when he came home smelling like an ashtray, was a recipe for disaster with Jamie.  Compounding the lie by swearing on his mother – a really, really seriously dumb move. Jamie already had trust issues about which Doug had beenGayla Wick|Denver Love Coach|Author|Speaker warned.  Thankfully for him experts were there to talk them both through possible resolutions.  My take: Doug was over- the- moon happy with his new bride and feared displeasing her so much he went into denial and lied before thinking about the consequences. He wanted to live up to being the non-smoker he’d professed to be rather than admit his momentary lapse. What should he have done?  Script: “I’m so sorry; yes I just smoked a cigarette.  I know I told you I didn’t smoke, and that’s been true, but I was a smoker until very recently. Today as we visited your past I wanted to be strong for you, but seeing you cry and feel so much pain, I was more stressed than I knew. I automatically went to my old stress reliever – a cigarette. I will not do that again.”  Although she may have been upset, seeing his unwillingness to lie would have been far easier to process. Lesson: Don’t lie to your love.  Cover-ups are always worse in the end. Think of it this way: Telling the truth may temporarily disappoint your mate, but lying digs a much deeper hole – one which you may or may not ever dig your way out. And a bit surprising - they decided to stay married. 

Until next time remember: “A fabulous love relationship is always based on trust.”

Let me know what you think about this couple.  Leave a comment below or on my Facebook Fan Page!  If you’re not a fan already click here to “like” my page and receive my weekly article. Looking forward to hearing from you!

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