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My Number Three Dating Rule: Know What You Really Want in a Man
Author: Gayla Wick

Have you devoted more time deciding on what bells and whistles you’d like on your new car than you have on deciding what you want in your next date/mate? Or did you write a list so long it’s overwhelming and no one is even coming close to matching your extensive wishes? If either of these scenarios describes what you’ve been doing then know you’re not alone. No list, a long list or the wrong list is a roadblock to attract the love relationship you desire. It doesn’t need to be this way. Ask yourself this question: Would you go into a restaurant and simply say to the waiter, “I’m hungry, just bring me some food?” 

I didn’t think so. We don’t do that because most of us are discerning about the type of food we want to eat. It’s vitally important that you also know what traits and values you desire in your perspective intimate partner. Instead of dating everyone who expresses interest potentially wasting your time and his, wouldn’t it be better to know clearly what you value? If you want to purchase a Cadillac, you don’t test drive every car in the lot first, right?

Gayla Wick|Denver Love Coach|Author|Speaker

Here are three steps to initiate your list:

Find a quiet time and place for personal reflection:

Take time for yourself to listen to your heart. Meditate if you are comfortable doing so. If not, then do something relaxing like walking in nature and allow your mind and heart to breathe and relax into the stillness and the quiet. Listen. You might be surprised at what comes up for you. Ask a question and listen for the answer. It may not come right away, but stay open to guidance from within. You can call this guidance whatever you prefer: God/Spirit/Universal Creative Energy/Your higher power – whatever works for you. Then stay open to examples of what you want. When you see a loving couple together enjoying themselves, silently say, “That’s for me.” Feel gratitude for them and their example.

There’s a powerful story about how this works in my new book, The Art of Attracting Authentic Love (A Transformational Four-Step Process) on page 112.

Gayla Wick|Denver Love Coach|Author|Speaker

Find the lessons in your past relationships:

If you’ve been hurt or disappointed by a past relationship, turn your emotions around by allowing yourself to feel gratitude for the lessons you learned from your experiences. There are messages or lessons for us in each life situation including relationships gone wrong, if we’re willing to look at them objectively. Are you ready to move past hurt and anger? If not, these emotions will block your happiness. As Buddha or Nelson Mandela or someone famously said, “Holding a grudge is like drinking a cup of poison and expecting the other person to die.” P.S. The original author of this quote is unknown.

Find out what makes you happy first:

Simply put, you need to find your own measure of happiness before you can attract the type of man you’re seeking. When I decided to do this, my life changed completely. Awakening my own personal happiness is a great relationship secret I learned and it was repeatedly confirmed by the w omen I interviewed from across the country during the yearlong research project I conducted for my book. Contrary to popular culture, no one is needed to complete you. A “substantially compatible” love match will add to your happiness.

You can learn more about this and read Trista Sutter’s story from the Bachelor and Bachelorette Television shows starting on page 84 of The Art of Attracting Authentic Love (A Transformational Four-Step Process ), available at,, Kindle & Nook.

Until Next Time Remember: Knowing what you want in a mate, relationship and marriage BEFORE you start dating can prevent you from wasting your time or his.











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