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Oct
27

Time to Hold On or Let Go in Love? - Part 1
Author: Gayla Wick
Time to Hold On or Let Go in Love? - Part 1

Knowing when to hold on and when to let go can really be confusing sometimes. As parents we often want to hold onto our children when we should be letting go, at least a little, so they can learn to grow up as responsible adults. We’ve all probably tried to hold onto a love relationship well past its expiration date. Deciding when to hold on and when to let go is a challenge we all face because we’re here to learn through our experiences. I thought about this today as I was trying to hold onto my nice, hot bubble bath. I’d been cold and felt like relaxing for awhile, but soon realized I was stubbornly holding onto that experience too long. My fingers were looking like prunes and I could feel the once perfect water losing its warmth. Instead of taking action to move ahead with my day in another venue, I sunk down even deeper into the water hoping to enjoy it just a little longer. Of course, I became even more chilled and had to get out anyway.

Most of the time we know when we’re prolonging the inevitable, especially in a love relationship, but we deny our intuition or feelings and do it anyway. Holding onto things past their shelf life just prolongs the pain. I’m going to go out on a limb and list some of the things I’ve held onto in the past that certainly were not in my best interest: hurt feelings, grudges, the need for others approval – this is a big one, the fantasy that I could keep my relationship together all by myself if I just tried harder, fears of not being enough, not being good enough and fear of failure in many aspects of life. You may want to make your own list and ask yourself if it’s time to let go.

A white knuckle grip on anything that does not belong to us keeps us in a cycle of fear and dread. It takes time, sometimes a long time, but when we make a choice to let go, the freedom we feel is palpable and wonderful. Holding onto what does not serve our highest and best good is like trying to hold water in your hand. The tighter it’s squeezed the more of it is lost. Holding tightly onto love chokes the life force out of it. Having true love requires letting go. If love is truly ours, it comes to rest in our space ever so sweetly and stays as long as it is nurtured.

Until next time remember: Having the love of your life comes gently and without force as you cherish and honor yourself.

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