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Are You Chasing the Wrong (Love) Train?

Gayla Wick - Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Are You Chasing the Wrong (Love) Train? How many times have we seen a friend, acquaintance, family member or even ourselves pursuing someone that shows no real interest in them? Most of us have done this at least once and learned the hard way that it really doesn’t work. No, he didn’t lose your number, he’s not too busy nor any number of other reasons women come up with to stay in that stage of eternal optimism that the slightest kind gesture can be interpreted as a love interest. When a man is genuinely interested in getting to know a woman, he makes it his priority business to make contact to arrange being in her company.

On reality television shows like the Bachelor and the Bachelorette, women frequently bemoan their circumstances of not being the chosen one with all manner of dramatic proclamations and tearful judgments about things that don’t matter at all. When a woman doesn’t receive “the rose” or in more ordinary life isn’t asked out for a second date, he’s not interested. We didn’t wear the wrong dress (unless it was inappropriate for the occasion by a mile or unbelievably slutty), we didn’t have the wrong hairstyle (unless it was beyond the pale of any socially acceptable standards) and we didn’t say the wrong thing or fail miserably to “make” him fall in love with us. By the way, we don’t make anyone fall in love with us, but that’s a subject for another blog post.

“If the train doesn’t stop at your station, then it’s not your train,” according to Marianne Williamson in a recent facebook post. Ms. Williamson is one of my favorite authors partly because she has a gift for getting right to the point so eloquently. This quote which I believe strongly was the impetus for my message today because it so clearly conveys a universal truth. The train (love interest) may be a mighty fine train (man), but if he doesn’t stop and take notice of you in all the right ways, he’s just not your man. There is no substitute for mutuality in a love relationship. If he is not totally in love with you, then as terrific as he may be, he’s not for you. Your man will love and adore you as only he can and he’s worth waiting for.

Until next time remember: If the man of your dreams isn’t demonstrating genuine interest in you and in being with you, he’s not the love of your life.
Levya Braman commented on 22-Sep-2011 05:26 PM
Gayla - You are so right! A one-sided love doesn't work. And, you can't make someone fall in love with you, as you so clearly stated. If the train hasn't stopped at your station, just wait, because another will come along and you'll be so glad you're available
when it does.
Anonymous commented on 03-Oct-2011 04:10 PM
Levya - Thank you so much for your comments! I so appreciate your engagement with my blog posts. I hope your comments will encourage others as well. I've met so many women who are thrilled that they waited for the right (love) train. It makes all the difference
in the world! Blessings!

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