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Finding 
Are You Dating an "E-Man"?
Author: Gayla Wick
I could hardly believe my eyes when I watched Chris Humphries (basketball player and former husband to Kim Kardashian) pick up his wife and toss her onto the bed proclaiming something about her need to obey him since they were now married. Wow – really? Since I don’t actually watch this show, I don’t recall his exact words in this short clip I happened upon while scrolling through the channels, but I can tell you I got the main point loud and clear. His behavior was more like that of a Neanderthal man – not something customary in this century and certainly not the actions of an enlightened man or “E-Man”.
I’m sure you have a sense of what an “E-man” looks like, feels like and acts like, but I’m going to give you my take on it. E-men are willing to develop love partnerships that truly support and benefit each other; they know how to listen and how to engage productively to resolve conflict, they demonstrate their love in ways that satisfy their partners because they’ve taken the time to find out what pleases her, they do their fair share of domestic chores without complaint or hassle; they willingly engage in conversation keeping intellectual and emotional intimacy alive and they always firmly stand up for their relationship protecting it as cherished treasure. I’m sure there’s more, but you get the idea of what I’m talking about.
E-men never use their physical strength to impose their will upon women; they don’t berate, shame, humiliate, or criticize women in public or in private; they don’t withhold emotional connection or physical affection; they don’t over spend indulging their own desires to the detriment of their financial security and future; they don’t play games at the expense of their partner and they don’t engage in risky behavior likely to erode the very foundation of healthy relationships – trust.
Willingness to engage their partner at all levels of a relationship (emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually and financially) is the mark of a truly enlightened man. Life can be complicated and challenging as well as enjoyable and rewarding so real men understand the need for partnership and have long since given up the idea they need to make all of the decisions and handle all of the responsibilities. E-men know they have nothing to lose and everything to gain by creating a healthy partnership with a smart, confident woman. E-men also know they have an important role in protecting their wives and families. Most men have the physical strength to fulfill this role simply because they have bigger stronger muscles. As women we hope we don’t need to have a man intervene to protect us from physical harm, but we are absolutely attracted to men who make us feel safe as well as loved. Next week I’m writing about “E-Women” so stay tuned and remember to leave a comment or question below.
Until next time remember: Take time to fully understand what you are looking for in a love partnership, set healthy boundaries and don’t settle for unacceptable behavior.
